Build Your Kids Self Esteem

Build Your Kids Self Esteem

Boosting your child’s confidence can help him grow up happier and emotionally stronger.

Self-esteem is something that we all want our child to have. You want your child to grow up knowing that who he is and what he stands for is enough. You want him to feel proud of his achievements and be able to accept his weaknesses as well as his strengths.

You want him to embrace the fact that he’s unique and wonderful. Here, our kids’ coach, tells you how to help lay the foundations for a confident child. Having healthy self-esteem is incredibly important – and starting early is key. Why? Because once your child experiences life outside of himself and his home he’ll be subjected to different life experiences, opinions, demands and criticisms. It only takes one person to say something unkind and his self-esteem can take a dip.

Build up his self-esteem. If you invest time in helping him while he’s young, he’ll grow up happier, emotionally stronger and more prepared for the outside world. Here are some key ways to make a difference:

✤ Show him how much you love him

If your child can see that you love and accept him unconditionally, he’ll feel safe and secure. You can show love in so many ways: by giving cuddles, making a favourite meal or reading a favourite book together. Spending quality time together every day is key, even if it’s just a few minutes. And, of course, you need to tell him how much you love him. Reminding him when you leave him at nursery or preschool is a good time, but you can never say it too often.

✤ Let him do things for himself

Young children often want to do things independently. Let him, even if things take longer or aren’t done quite the way you’d do them! Doing things for himself – even tiny things, like pouring his own drink – will
empower your child, as he sees that he doesn’t need Mummy or Daddy to help.

✤Give him recognition

When you ask him to do something and he does it Tell him how proud you are. For example, if you ask him to put the spoons in the drawer
and he does it, you could say, “Oh, you did that really well – I’m so impressed.” He’ll love it if he thinks you haven’t noticed something and you mention it. Even more importantly, ask him how proud he is of himself. It’s important to raise children who recognise both their efforts and their achievements.

✤ Give him praise

This is different from recognition. You might praise he draws a picture or does something good without being asked. Descriptive praise can really boost a child’s selfesteem, such as: “Well done for putting your wellies on! I didn’t even have to ask you. It means we can get to the park quickly and have more time to play.”

✤ Get him to help you

Yes, of course it’s quicker to do things yourself, but it will make your child feel special to be asked to help with a grown-up activity. Let him help stir baking ingredients, fluff up his duvet, sweep the floor, water
the plants or lay the table for dinner, for example. You can get a few chores done and have fun together, while also boosting his self-esteem. In addition, it will teach him to listen and follow instructions, and he’ll be learning all the time – whether it’s that plants need water to grow, or
just how to be tidy. The message he’ll get is “Mummy wants me to help her, she needsmy help and knows I’m a good helper”.

✤ When he says he can’t,

Show him he can Young children often say they can’t do something, even though they really can. He just needs some encouragement (and possibly some help) to see that he really can put his shoes on, carry his bag in from the car or go to the toilet on his own. He might think he can’t do something for a number of reasons: he’s never done it before, he hasn’t done it for a while, or he tried before and it didn’t go well; he’s tired; it’s going to take too long or he can’t be bothered. Tell him you understand how he feels but you believe he can do it. You can do it with him or help him do it and explain that next time he’ll learn.

Teach him that everything new takes time. When he does succeed (or tries his best), celebrate his effort as well as his achievement.

Self-esteem boosters

  1. When your child draws a picture, ask him to describe it to you rather than asking him what it is.
  2. Follow his lead when he wants to play something. Even if you don’t enjoy doing Octonauts role play, put a smile on your face and do it with him.
  3. Ask him about his day at nursery – and what he enjoyed most about it.
  4. Encourage him to make small decisions, such as what top to wear or what plate to use.

Decision making is empowering!

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