8 Tips For Helping Kids Through Divorce

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  1. Constantly reassure them that they are loved – even if the other parent lets them down. A no-show doesn’t mean the other parent doesn’t love them.
  2. Encourage your children to communicate with both of you, and never use them as a messenger between parents.
  3. Be reasonable and build some flexibility into the visitation schedule – it can help both parties. Life doesn’t always fit into neat little boxes.
  4. Don’t fight in front of your kids. Remember, this is not their fight. Research has found that children who don’t adjust well to divorce are those who constantly witness their parents’ battles.
  5. Don’t tell them the details of the divorce. It’s not their problem. They need to know that their parents won’t be living together anymore, and that they will still see both parents, and that they are still loved regardless. They do not need to know the sordid details of what’s going on between you.
  6. Learn to let them go to your ex with a smile, and without creating tension.
  7. When your children get home from an ex, treat them exactly as you would if they’d spent the weekend with grandma. Be interested and supportive.
  8. Listen to them when they are disappointed, angry or sad. Allow them to vent.

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